You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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