it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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