its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
