I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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