wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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