did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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