also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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