yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
