my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
