did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I need to stop coming to work sober
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She even gives head with a lisp.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
