Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
