It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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