After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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