Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
