well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
