You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
