Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
