He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize