Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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