would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize