did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
