I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
