do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize