I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize