you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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