do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it glows. i had to have it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
