If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
