I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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