Is it because I queefed?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
