Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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