there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
