so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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