I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
