She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
