Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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