I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
