oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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