in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
