We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
