Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
