This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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