I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
