Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
