we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
