We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
