thus making me awesome and them whores
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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