How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
