you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
