I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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