Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
