just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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