we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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