Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just fell off a train. Bad.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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