Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize