she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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