Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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