Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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