Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
