I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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