Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
