You can't special order awesome
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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