My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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