Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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