why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
