Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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