a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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