In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
