Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
